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I recently read an article by Bill Simmons in which he referred to the eighties as, "The Least Self-Aware Decade of all time." That brings us to Arena, a movie that makes the very concept of self-awareness equivical to getting throat cancer. The movie opens with a battle taking place in th...

I was able to use my Sherlockesque powers of deduction to narrowly avoid seeing any of the films on the list, but if you would have told me that the worst picture of the year was directed by Renny Harlin, I would have said, "Yes."

I'm going to bite. Club Dread is my dream movie. It was totally lost on the Super Troopers fans who expected... I don't know what. It sends up horror tropes perfectly but never reverts to being a straight parody of anything. It is genuinely funny. It is clever. Every actor seems intent on stealing e...

http://www.criticker.com/film/Dawning/

I think this is along the lines of what you're talking about.
Just an absolute disaster of a movie.

I'm willing to give Stewball the benefit of the doubt on this one for two reasons. 1. He seems legitimately interested in performances, and I certainly lose some scope on the power of a performance when I don't understand the language. I couldn't tell you if Tony Leung's delivery of certain lines in...

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime
Season six Episode one
Tales From the Crypt

Dracula: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZFZxEnB7ws A Walk Among the Tombstones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Ttj9tXzCA Nightcrawler: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8kYDQan8bw and for kicks Heroin PSA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23_7QscXxns The coming fall movie season looks lackluster but i...

If a movie is terrible I will sit through it, unless I find the content to be morally irredeemable such as "Nekromantik" which I turned off after eight minutes. I know HorrorMaster is long gone and that I'm five years late on this post and that it's too lewd but I can't resist using my fa...

Some of my faves: nilkynarfy: Top Gun: Moses is prophecy, Dali is drugs, Top Gun is gay. The oft-loved Kojiless: Lock Up: This tour-de-force had so much iron-pumping, engine-tuning, football-tossing, fist-fighting goodness, that by the time the every-man 80's hair band power-ballad-driven credits we...

I feel the same way about my reaction to Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Early on it was building on potential provided by the first one, but I felt the script just blew any intelligence out of the water by having all the conflict be pounding, mind-numbing, boring violence and action rather than ha...