Favorite Mini-Reviews

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ShogunRua
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by ShogunRua »

Having just watched the piece of trash known as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), I was at least cheered up by a couple of good reviews.

The first is a little fancy-shmancy;

Moribunny wrote: Kaufman's not bad at writing characters and dialogue. His problem is he couldn't in a million years write a good story, and so he attempts to make up for that by warping his basically shoddy stories into smart-alecky deconstructionist experiments. He thus sucks up to his audience, making them feel smart for having solved his gratuitous puzzles. The more Kaufman piles up meta-narrative complications, the easier he gets away with lame scripts like this basically brainless romantic comedy.


And the second is more direct;

Harzep wrote:A very inventive film-version of a Dharma and Greg episode. Chronically overrated.

frederic_g54
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by frederic_g54 »

MrKyoki's review for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009):

This movie is the equivalent of your subconscious punishing you after taking that $100 bet from your drinking buddies to drink a smoothie that's made from ice, nectarines, and dogshit. Suddenly, you're barfing all over the floor realizing that you've watched an over-produced, brainless, and contrived piece of 35mm film that makes you wish Hasbro would file for Chapter 9 bankruptcy so that they'll never have to torture fans of the toys and everyone else with their existence again.

Ocelot
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by Ocelot »

msworddoc's review of Iron Man 2 perfectly sums up every sequel:

its like iron man, but again


I also enjoy reading djross's reviews even if some of them make me think he has no intention of actually communicating his ideas to other people: (on Wild at Heart)

Following on from the ironies of BLUE VELVET, Lynch more or less restates Kuleshov: however transparent the manipulation, our intellectual apprehension of the cinematic image is always susceptible to the affective solicitation of the cinematic synthesis, and this is a key part of what makes the cinematic industrial temporal object essentially pharmacological (in the Stieglerian sense). See also my review of DANCER IN THE DARK. If possible, see this movie in a well-equipped cinema.

Bojangles
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by Bojangles »

LOL ^^^ classic djross...i dont know what any of that means, but i get the sense he's probably right

lisa-
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by lisa- »

i think (i hope!) i get the gist of djross's denser reviews now, even without a sliver of knowledge of bernard stiegler. especially after having seen the films. i think in this case one might consider the cinematic manipulations on behalf of von trier (particularly emotionally) and lynch (particularly audiovisually).

i just recently saw this ridiculously amusing review from lumpnboy on the rock:

I saw this movie on the big screen with a few people including a man who is now a member of federal parliament in Australia. His immediate post-movie declaration was that he enjoyed it immensely and would be very willing to watch it again. He said it with a grin of genuine joy.

Paxton
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by Paxton »

Some of my faves:

nilkynarfy:
Top Gun:
Moses is prophecy, Dali is drugs, Top Gun is gay.

The oft-loved Kojiless:
Lock Up:
This tour-de-force had so much iron-pumping, engine-tuning, football-tossing, fist-fighting goodness, that by the time the every-man 80's hair band power-ballad-driven credits were rolling, the buttons had popped off my stone-washed denim jeans and my hardened nipples had torn holes straight through my skin-tight wife-beater. And if reading that review didn't turn you gay...then you were probably already gay.

DesertPunk:
The Stuff:
Somehow not a Tim and Eric sketch.

Spleen:
Judge Dredd:
Rob Schneider, the original Jar Jar Binks.

Billy Shears:
Buried:
I really like the new direction of the Van Wilder franchise.

joseywales:
Divergent:
Take one part 'Brave New World' and muddle it with 4 parts 'Hunger Games'. Shake hard and strain over ice. Garnish with two and a half hours of my life that I'll never get back and there you have it: The Borehattan.

QVT:
Commando:
Remember when I promised to rate you last? I lied.

Carpetgiant (I cannot stress how much I love this review though it contains spoilery spoilers.
The Illusionist:
Paul Giamatti plays a policeman who is always a few steps behind the illusionist. By the time he's finally pieced everything together at the movie's denouement, it's glaringly obvious to the viewer what has transpired. It could be poor film-making in that too much information is given beforehand to deduce the twist before Giamatti, but maybe that's the point. He's not serving as a foil to the illusionist; he's a foil to you, the viewer, making you feel brilliant. That's the real illusion here.

karamazov.
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re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by karamazov. »

[spoiler]"RoboCop" (1987).
ZayanK wrote:Justice.

"Barry Lyndon" (1975).
Darren wrote:This was Barry good.

"Grave of the Fireflies" (1988).
kubricksucks wrote:if this made you cry you are gay


Aside from that... I read shit by Matt Burgess, theficionado, AFlickering, lisagirl, djross, lumpnboy, ???, sidehacker, Barthalen, Dean Franz, and others...[/spoiler]

Ocelot
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Re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by Ocelot »

Someday I'll be mentioned in every post.

karamazov.
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re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by karamazov. »

[spoiler]"From Justin to Kelly" (2003).
Ocelot wrote:The title refers to STD transmission.

Magnificent.[/spoiler]

AFlickering
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Re: re: Favorite Mini-Reviews

Post by AFlickering »

karamazov. wrote:[spoiler]"RoboCop" (1987).
ZayanK wrote:Justice.

"Barry Lyndon" (1975).
Darren wrote:This was Barry good.

"Grave of the Fireflies" (1988).
kubricksucks wrote:if this made you cry you are gay


Aside from that... I read shit by Matt Burgess, theficionado, AFlickering, lisagirl, djross, lumpnboy, ???, sidehacker, Barthalen, Dean Franz, and others...[/spoiler]


nice list, i read most of these. kubricksucks is my buddy lol, hes a dick.

i also recommend off the top of my head:
undinum - killer writer, uber-knowledgable and number 2 TCI. maybe my fav kump actually, although he should write more.
paulofilmo - one of the most insightful and unpredictable voices on here, nice dude too.
JakeAesthete - unapologetically individual, self-described sensualist iirc. 10th tier is a treasure trove.
The Way - mostly for the lols. i've had run ins with him on rateyourmusic, he's an ubermensch or something.
cloak - only writes occasionally, but clearly an intelligent cinephile. i could say that about quite a few of my kumps actually.
Vesupria - another buddy, another dick.
pompousass - one of the better writers on here, and writes a lot. warning: may be a pompous ass.
Valenzetti - another standout writer.
SlantMag - doesn't really count, but it's capsules from one of the best online movie mags around.

and then of course there's the pro (or near enough) critics like chaw, Mike D'Angelo, wokelstein, Mr. Mxyzptlk... who don't write much on here but have been excellent elsewhere.

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