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0 game ratings

Game Freak - 432 Game Ratings

Member Since: Apr 16, 2009

Location: Acton, Massachusetts, USA

Bio: I love movies. I like talking about them. Feel free to message me and call me a stupid asshole if you disagree with one of my reviews, or if you just happen to feel like it.
more Recent Ratings
65 66% Metal Slug (1996) - Apr 08, 2019
40 31% The Surge (2017) - Apr 08, 2019
"it's free on PS Plus"
25 14% Octopath Traveler (2018) - Apr 08, 2019
"a disaster of a game, for the most part. "Choose Your Own Story" doesn't work as a premise when every story you can choose is terrible. combat is clunky, and with even battles against low-level enemies taking, like, five minutes. I expected the game to start to crescendo after getting all of the characters. instead, it becomes eight bad JRPGs rolled into one. the guy at GameStop who recommended this to me should be fired"
55 48% Metal Slug 2 (1998) - Mar 17, 2019
"take my quarters"
95 97% Pok√©mon Crystal (2000) - Mar 17, 2019
"in many ways, the apotheosis of Pokemon. it's expansive, somewhat challenging and is the part of the only generation to feel like a true sequel rather than a retread. future games in the series improve the battling, but they never quite capture that feeling of growth and progression. that time is so integral to the mechanics GSC is wonderfully appropriate."
80 91% Hitman (2016) - Mar 05, 2019
"that this wasn't sweeping up Game of the Year award is an indictment against the entire industry. what in the fuck is wrong with everyone"
20 9% Gradius (1985) - Jan 26, 2019
"this game is fundamentally broken. the only way to win is to assemble a ton of power-ups, but they get reset once you die. from then one, it's nigh impossible to reclaim them. what's the point of having a life system at all? why not have an armor system, where three hits and you're done? the answer is quarter-munching, so fuck you."
35 24% Jenga (1983) - Jan 20, 2019
0% Candy Crush Saga (2012) - Jan 20, 2019
"this game hates you and your family. it wants your loved ones to die. that is an admirable quality in a game with a narrative, but this does not have one. it is a choose your own adventure where every path leads in parents messaging the app store because their child accidentally bought 40 million plums or whatever. everyone behind this should be put to death; or, worse, forced to play their own creation"
15 5% Guess Who (1982) - Jan 20, 2019
"racial profiling awareness tool for special needs kids"