Bio: I perform various production-related tasks
Check out JSchlansky's...
|57 T5||Alan Wake Remastered (2021) - 22 Nov 2023
"Aims for Stephen King and hits Garth Marenghi"
|85 T10||Super Mario Bros. Wonder (2023) - 22 Nov 2023
"You better believe I switched off the flower voices before the title screen popped up"
|60 T5||Dead Space (2023) - 22 Nov 2023
"If you never played the original, then this is surely the optimal way to play it now. Otherwise, I don't see the point even after searching around for it. The slightly improved visuals aren't a big enough step up to justify its existence, and the other changes all feel rather minor and inconsequential. I've always considered the original game overrated, and the problems I have with it aren't addressed here. But hey, they made the plasma cutter feel 'weaker,' so that's something no one wanted"
|60 T5||Jusant (2023) - 22 Nov 2023
"Doesn't outstay its welcome, which I appreciate, but certainly could have pushed its mechanics further and upped the challenge. It feels a bit barebones, and the worldbuilding and story aren't interesting or even all that original, but the gameplay is solid. There's a great deal of depth to the climbing, and I would love to see the ideas present utilized elsewhere and pushed further. Imagine if things like the climbing sections of the Uncharted games were like this... now that's a great time"
|53 T4||Massive Chalice (2015) - 22 Nov 2023
"Points for originality and some interesting ideas, but the execution didn't do it for me. It seems like a concept that could be too complicated, but I think they may have overcorrected to avoid that pitfall and made it too simplistic instead. There's just no meat to the turn-based concept and it feels like a slog to play when your options are so limited and mundane. Every encounter goes on for far too long as well."
|56 T4||Vampyr (2018) - 25 Oct 2023
"Extra frustrating because it's SO close to being great but every individual component lacks the necessary refinement with the exception of the visuals/atmosphere. The combat is fun when it works, but it often doesn't work and is more often janky as all hell. Needed more time in the oven to work out the kinks all around. I had an obscene number of hard crashes (more than any other game I can recall) and there's only so much bullshit I'm willing to wade through"
|99 T10||Resident Evil 4 (2023) - 14 Oct 2023
"Holy shit, they did it. The maniacs really did it. They managed to make the best horror game ever made even better. This is so much more than just a fresh coat of paint, and all of the changes and updates are very much welcomed. I was skeptical of a remake of RE4 being able to make significant enough updates to justify its existence, but this is remarkable. Incredible stuff."
|45 T3||Resident Evil 3 (2020) - 22 Sep 2023
"My playtime lasted only 5h10m, and the game still felt like it overstayed its welcome. Most of the games in this series devolve into dumb-brain action schlock near the end, but RE3 is nothing but that schlock from beginning to end. Nemesis is a disappointment. He pretty much exclusively shows up in scripted chase sequences or in big boss fights that are incredibly easy but soooooo tedious. The game looks and sounds incredible, but the content and especially the tone are a total miss."
|76 T9||Mass Effect (2007) - 19 Jun 2023
"As someone who bounced off of the gameplay side of the original version of this a couple of times, the Legendary Edition's quality-of-life improvements were enough to get me over that hump and finally experience this compelling story and world properly. There's still plenty that doesn't work for me, like how obviously fake a lot of dialogue "choices" are and how unacceptably bad the Mako handles. Excited to dive into the second one."
|68 T7||Supraland: Six Inches Under (2022) - 19 Jun 2023
"A solid play-on-mute-while-listening-to-podcasts puzzle/platformer/3D-Metroidvania. Took me almost twice as long as the How-Long-to-Beat estimate because I'm dumb and some of the puzzles were pretty tough"