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0 game ratings

Velvet Crowe

velvet_crowe width="100" height="100"

Game Junkie - 1070 Game Ratings

Member Since: Jun 3, 2010

Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Age: 30

Bio: Former journalist, invested in humanities, fitness, and weed.

Subtlety is overrated.

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/5590954-dre
Discord Server: https://discord.gg/HUnyvT
https://twitter.com/pendejo_jorge

more Recent Ratings

40 21% Warsaw (2019) - Aug 06, 2022
"The premise is unique for a WWII game, but goddamn this was dull. At its core, the combat is about playing as optimally as possible which is hypothetically interesting but gets muddled by how easily attrition is trivalized by items that are easy to manage, stupid rng mechanics, and just how basic and repetitive general gameplay is. I might forgive this if there was a strong narrative at its core but the game barely tries to have much of a story granting me little incentive to care otherwise."
36 15% River City Ransom (1989) - Aug 06, 2022
"I think it's cool in terms of its novelty but that novelty doesn't manifest in any way I'd call enjoyable. The enemy variety is minimal with random, dull layouts and the game gives the bare minimum to work with in terms of combat options. The RPG stuff does give a cool vibe to the whole experience, but what those mechanics are demanding of you just ends up making the whole experience a slog to get through."
62 48% Monster Prom (2018) - Aug 06, 2022
"The writing is often cringe-inducing but never in a way I found pretentious or insufferable somehow. This would be a dull single player experience; thankfully, I've only played this game in a group and a lot of the fun that comes from that is mostly in terms making a mockery of on-screen events and shitposting over who the best girl is (which is obviously the genocidal fish waifu). I don't think this game has much merits either in its jokes or gameplay but it's an amusing multiplayer experience."
37 17% DC Universe Online (2011) - Jul 20, 2022
"There's a charming, shitposty vibe to this game that makes it funny to me and I guess there's a cool novelty in flying around a lot of iconic DC locations. On the other hand, the gameplay is completely braindead and dull with the quest structure being lazy and uninteresting in terms of mixing up the grind. I guess it does allow for more mobility than most mmos; but honestly, I'd rather have an interesting toolkit that isn't homogenous than the jank ass attempts at "dodging" this game gives me."
68 57% Buriki One (1999) - Jul 15, 2022
"Buriki One is a fascinating fighter in terms of its gimmicks but I can't help but feel a lot of it is pretty bare. Attacks are very committal and there's a lot of interesting ways to control the neutral, but often times you'll be resorting to a few optimal moves since blocking covers everything and utility doesn't really go beyond grabs and frame data. That said, the novelty of how its inputs work and its scoring system are so cool to me that I can at least say I like it."
57 41% New Super Mario Bros. Wii (2009) - Jul 13, 2022
"I like the novelty of 4 players but the compromises they had to make to the level design really hurt it. For example, most levels end up being overly empty and simple just to give people space to move. I also am not fond of the game's physics which remove a lot of weight and momentum. On the other hand, there's some cool power ups that play with the level design in neat ways and there are a number of solid levels, but I think this game is too bare for me to call it particularly good."
96 99% Hitman 3 (2021) - May 20, 2022
"I'd call this the meatiest expansion in terms of features just on the elusive arcade alone which makes the best out of Hitman's core. As for the levels themselves, they're mostly solid with a few that are meh. The Dartmoor level is damn brilliant and is such a cool concept inherently that it'd be cool to see something like that explored in other titles. Others like the Berlin level were pretty bland, but I do dig how much visual variety this part in the trilogy aims for regardless."
77 73% Heroes of Might and Magic IV (2002) - May 20, 2022
"I initially hated this game due to how it changed from its prequel but grew to somewhat respect it. The magic system is lamer, the unit list is smaller, and the hero presence within battles is mostly frivolous. On the other hand, I do think the way unit trees are handled is really cool and I dig some of the qol changes such as the caravan system. Unit management is a lot more tedious, but I do dig it in the sense that it allows you to keep your heroes on the frontlines."
57 41% EarthBound (1994) - May 20, 2022
"Earthbound is incredibly charming and its idiosyncrasies are iconic for a reason. It's a shame that the moment to moment, both in gameplay and plot, are just mind-numbingly dull. Earthbound is dedicated to its core theme to such a degree that it just can't breath without doing something to symbolize it, which comes across as boring to me since I don't find the theme THAT interesting and it results in the plot doing a whole lot of nothing otherwise."
46 27% Kirby's Adventure (1993) - May 05, 2022
"This game is odd to me in that a lot of its levels feel like they blue ball me. I keep expecting something more from them but then the levels just all of a sudden ends and I just end up feeling empty from the experience. From a mechanical standpoint, the game is polished but boring where your run speed has virtually no effect on your jumping but you're also mobile enough where none of the enemies are particularly a threat. It has some cute gimmicks, but it feels too barebones for me to care."