The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

Describe this game to someone and you'll get placed on some sort of registry so fast. "You see you're a naked 8 year old who shoots his tears at poop and vagina monsters and ... hello Officer

best roguelike ever made. the sheer amount of variety provides thousands of hours of addictive, entertaining experiences. Brimstone, baby!

Solid rogue-lite that I never played much of because of the off-putting visual style.

well-designed but neither the varied-yet-repetitive dungeon crawling nor the, uh, "toilet" aesthetic are even a tiny little bit made for me.

A fun, engaging time-devourer.

Endlessly addictive.

This game was amazing enough that it made it impossible for me to return to the first game. But the more DLC they make, the more awful decisions they make, like adding bosses that scale to your damage output to nullify any damage upgrades you have, or making balance changes that 99% of players hate just to cater to a few popular streamers who felt that some items were overpowered. And the modding tools they finally released, which should have fixed all these issues, ended up being a joke.

I can feel better about my e-penis because I have the Real Platinum God achievement. I can feel worse about my real life because I put in enough hours to get the Real Platinum God achievement.

I've played this a lot more than any other roguelike/roguelite. The items are generally really interesting and synergize well, and there are a ton of things to do. It's one of the only games I just never get tired of. Shame about the music though; I've always felt that the Rebirth music was a massive step down from the original Isaac.